Way back in 2020 a plot was hatched for a Theme Camp. A professional snake oil salesman hawking his dubious pills and potions to a gullible audience. Mobile theater. Alas, COVID came along, and the burn world died. But like a phoenix rising from the ashes the story came to life again in 2025.

Hundreds of pill bottles are purchased from the plastic shop. They must still be wondering about the spike in the demand. The local print shop produces the labels that stick on the bottles. Lilly, a local girl, buried in a mundane admin job hears about our venture. With design training she begs to produce label designs. So, bingo! Lilly is put to work. It’s funny how the burn magic attracts the moths to the flame. Radio Free Tankwa calls for theme camp ads. Brendan applies his creative skills to produce a super advertisement to summon the audiences:

Next up more labels for the caps on the bottles. A scaled down Clan insignia, based on Mumu’s 2019 design.

The contents of the bottles are next. Packets of multi coloured candy are purchased. So Herme, my ever-loving wife, gets to work sorting them into their colours.

Professor Cuchulain needs a wagon to transport his wares to the Binnekring (at Burning Man it is known as the playa). Samples will be offered at his base but there is likely more “sales” success from a soap box with a well-dressed salesman accompanied by his gorgeous lady.

Everyone who has attended Tankwa Town from Pretoria or Joeys knows what a mission it is to get a self-sustaining theme camp to Quaggafontein. It is a long way and the roads are terrible due to huge truck convoys on the major freeways and then the battering on the corrugations of the dirt R355. Only the toughest survive.

Base camp is the icosahedron from 2024. With all the pretty lights to be a beacon at night in a pitch dark neighbourhood. My burner brother, Oliver, has pledged never to return to Tankwa Town after 2024. But he relents and offers two days, the week before the show opens, to help build the structure to his engineering standards. And then escapes to the comfort of his comfy couch at home. However, I am eternally grateful for his help and the fine meal his wife Lella sent to sustain us.

The theatrical team arrive with all their finery and acting skills. The Tim, Anton and Rhodi-Anne are magnificent. They have been practicing for weeks and their many outfits amazing.

Below-mentioned, I present a sampling of the many burners who stopped to enjoy the whimsical story. The misguided snake oil salesman who aimed to make a fortune selling his pills and potions to a captive audience of 10 000 burners. Alas, he finds out that decommodification prohibits selling anything. But warms to the gifting economy and the kind heartedness of his audience.

As can be seen the two Professor Cuchulains derived much pleasure from their interactions. And Mrs Cuchulain soon forgot her desire for worldly wealth when she joined the happy participants. The joy cannot be captured in mere words.

Back home at the base free samples were offered from a counter.

We were lucky to have the twin Professor Cuchulains to ensure the roaming show rolled on daily. The Tim and Bumblebee synchronised beautifully alternating with Anton and Rhodi-Anne.

Back at home base it was hilarious to hear the range of comments from pedestrians e.g., curiosity to consternation and even to outright cynicism. It really reflects our drug-soaked default society that extreme caution must be practiced. But there were also those expecting a trip to “happiness”. A group of guys opened a pill bottle and one acted as the guinea pig and complained “Ek het vier geeet en ek voel niks nie!’ (“I ate four pills and I feel nothing!”) Yet in another encounter, a Russian lass was seriously expecting ketamine. One lady wanted to know if the candy contained pineapple, to which she was allergic. Kids also arrived asking for more after their folks had vetted their candy was safe. In other instances, extreme cynics would read the blurbs, snort in derision, and march off empty-handed.

But, like the mobile theater, there were many who approached and wanted to know more about the Theme Camp and our country. One young German group went beyond the fun by asking why South Africa was so corrupt. The interactions were many and varied but always a pleasure. In a country so mired in adverse publicity it is clear that AfrikaBurn plays a very positive role in spreading goodwill and dispelling misinformation.

So, from Tuesday to Saturday, with the shows mostly in the mornings and evenings, my fear of returning home with undonated gifts flew out the window. We’d prepared hundreds and none were left over. After months of preparation, mission accomplished. What a blast!!.

Some of my side encounters bare further reporting:
A few months ago, The Tim and I had participated in a Burning Man symposium hosted by the RATS (Renewables for Art), with the goal of being off fossil fuel for electricity by 2030. Their leader was Bruce the Badger. Who lives in Seattle in the USA. Imagine my huge surprise when he camped practically in my back yard. Then came the double whammy. Mons, the Goddess of the Tankwa, came to visit. We were chatting when Bruce rode past on his bike. What a joy to introduce him to one of the founders of AfrikaBurn who had helped develop it over 17 dedicated years.

Back in 2019, my wrangler was Nikki. She emerged on her patrol mobile to say hi. I learnt that she is now installed at ABHQ as a part of the Theme Camp support team. Good for building institutional memory again after so many departures because of Covid.

My old legs can’t manage a bicycle anymore. I got lucky with two memorable rides. First off, our Theme Camp Coordinator Lexy gave me a ride in her electric (good) golf cart to the newly completed Clan. I met with Laurence and Melissa to discuss their masterpiece. Then off to find Vasti my wrangler and finally to see the new major solar installation for DPW (excellent).

The next adventure was with Laurence of Clan fame. We rode his mutant transporter to check on the Clan’s solar system and then I enjoyed a personalised review of art on the Binnekring. Although Carmel of Temple fame is not present this year, we found solitary art pieces of hers on the approach to the Dung Beetle. Proving that the Burn is an addiction.

I had met Ceduma at the AB art selection presentation in Pretoria months ago. And a thousand miles away here she is with the Dung Beetle. Burners are everywhere.

Sunday, and the show is wrapping up. Mixed feelings of relief and sadness that it is over once again. Monday sees the major deconstruction of the camp. Anton has a handsome bakkie to transport the icosahedron to its new home. It would have been a travesty to burn it!

Exiting the sleepy almost empty Tankwa Town at 3am on Tuesday morning the first introduction back into the default world appears. The exit to the Hek is blocked by a Gestapo security guard. The alternative is a cross country trip halfway around the Karoo. Facing a thousand mile journey home this is a stupid idea. But I get lucky. The guard is fast asleep at his hut with a cosy fire.

One last comment remains. It is pitch dark on the exit road and on to the R355. The headlights pick up the corrugations which rattle my dentures. At regular intervals a broken down trailer has died at the side of the road highlighting the destructive power of the ruts. The rescue teams from town must have been very busy the next day.

This has been a “snapshot” of experiences enjoyed by an old Burner. Many other stories and pictures will have emanated from every nook and cranny of Tankwa Town.

The Burn reminds us once again that life is fleeting. Taking a little time out for introspection and a little fun is a reminder to recalibrate our priorities in the default world.

Thanks to all the happy Burners.

Ronnie Jack
Pretoria
May 2025